Go to a local cafe and order a double expresso. Don't be afraid to ask for two Kerry Eggs a slice of Camel Bacon, an extra lump of tortoise lard, tomato and mushrooms and most importantly a couple of pages of toast.
When next out at you favourite Italian Pizzeria ask for Snake Pasta and see what you get, or "Vole Pie and Toad Chips please.", when dinning at one of those lovely roadside establishments.
When next out smearing your good name like toe jam on a page of hot toast, if you pass a Kebab Shop, ask if they have Panda Kebab. If the answer is no, then thank them and politely, decline to order then and leave. Politeness is vital here. No laughing.
Just go out there and ask the person behind the counter “Do you have Owl Sausage, please?”